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 Tsuinshokukarasu (Approved)

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Hajime Azrael

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PostSubject: Tsuinshokukarasu (Approved)   Wed Jan 20, 2010 12:45 am

Name: Tsuinshokukarasu (Twin Eclipse Ravens)

Manifestation:
Light Manifestation (also known as Shiro Karasu or Dr. Jackl)
Spoiler:
 

Shadow Manifestation (also known as Kuro Karasu or Mr. Hyde)- for those of you who have seen the templar trailer for the game The Secret World, its that monster, if not go to Dark Days are Coming

Spoiler:
 

Spoiler:
 

Release Phrase: attara me ga kesshite michi ni kare wo sara nakatta nin ha arui ta (Once I knew a man whose eyes never left the path he walked)

Family: Shadow & Light (I know its supposed to be only 1 family, but it is a dual Zampactou)

Level: Bankai

Sealed Zanpaktou: Also its kinda difficult to tell but the non-chaos symbol blade has a guard of suspended metal, thought it may look like it cant withstand someone trying to break it, it can, its difference is just for show, it functions like any other guard.
Spoiler:
 

Shikai: I drew it in the second part with both blades being on a chain with the handle in the middle (though I also only drew 1 blades there, which would be spinning while fighitng), only 1 spinning-blade can be out of the handle, the other blade must remain attached to the handle. Though it is possible for Azrael to fight with both blades connected to the handle. Also the 2 guards of the blade are the same guards as they are in the sealed state.
Spoiler:
 

Shikai Ability: The chain within the sword hilt, is ~9 meters (10 yards) long. However only 1 blade can be connected to the chain and spinning out of the handle. (Despite what the picture above shows... I just don't really feel like re-drawing it)

Bankai: Karasukimi no Kuroisan (Raven Prince of the Black Sun). Azrael gains a long black trench-coat with blood red ravens depicted in flight upon it, their eyes an even darker black than the coat. And his blade changes to as below
Spoiler:
 

Bankai Ability: Keep in mind these are only variations on the Shikai abilities. The double-spear can stretch up to ~18 meters (20 yards) and can bend and act like a chain or act like a spear. The shaft of the double-spear is bladed and will cut anybody holding it, except Azrael.


Techniques

1) nisshoku (solar eclipse) - The light blade (the side with the swirling guard) has to be the one out on the chain. The blade swings out and the arc that it cuts becomes a very thin, almost invisible thread of light that exactly like any sword would. Also the threads of light are very hard to see, and it is easy to forget where they are, even for Azrael. However this can only be in used in an arcing of the chained blade, and cannot be used any other way. Also only 5 threads can be in play at a time. Each thread lasts 8 turns, cool down 1 turn after thread dissipates

2) gesshoku (lunar eclipse) - The shadow blade (the guard with the chaos symbol) has to be the one out on the chain. With this one out the spinning blade can be thrown through any shadow and come out of the shadow of Azrael's choosing. However the shadow must be within sight of Azrael, he can't merely just know its there. Also the 'shadow jump' of the chained blade cannot be larger than 18 meters, allowing an additional 18 meters for the length of the chain (or however many meters were not used getting the blade to the shadow. Cool down 2 turns

3) Kanbishitashoku (Complete Eclipse) Both shikai abilities (gesshoku & nisshoku) are able to be used similtaneously, however the rules governing them still apply, like the shadow distance or the single thread of light. This can only be used in Bankai form. Cool down

(I hope I am explaining this well)


Last edited by Hajime Azrael on Sat Jan 23, 2010 11:12 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Zafaron Uriuc

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PostSubject: Re: Tsuinshokukarasu (Approved)   Fri Jan 22, 2010 8:26 pm

I don't really understand what you mean when you say that one of the shikai blades must remain attached to the handle. Then what is happening in the first picture? I see one blade out but the other blade is nowhere in sight. Shouldn't it be connected to the handle.

Also, at least half the length of the chain and the spear. 20 yards is way too long for a shikai and 40 yards is just ridiculous in general. Mostly because it would be completely impractical in any situation. Make it 10 and 20 yards at least. Others might want it cut down even more but for now just half it.

I also don't understand what you mean by a "thread of light". Is it some super sharp thing that can cut straight through flesh and bone easily or does running into it cut you like a blade would? If it is the latter then it is okay. If it is the former, you are going to have to change it. That would be too powerful.

This might be a nitpick but for organization's sake, can you put all of the "Eclipse" attacks under 1 heading of "Techniques". The information about the chain and the spear shaft can be left where they are.

Also, the techniques need to have cooldowns.
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Hajime Azrael

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PostSubject: Re: Tsuinshokukarasu (Approved)   Sat Jan 23, 2010 2:21 pm

for your first question, yes it should be, but I kinda didn't feel like drawing that again.... I will then halve it.

The thread of light is supposed to cut though flesh and bone easily, however, zampaktous will not be cut by it. The thread of light is litterally a thread, so its very difficult to see and easily missed. However it does affect my character as well, because if he is pushed onto it, he will fee the same thing. However I could change it to something like a blade, but I would then ask that I be allowed to create several threads and not just one.

And I will make the changes.
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Zafaron Uriuc

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PostSubject: Re: Tsuinshokukarasu (Approved)   Sat Jan 23, 2010 10:12 pm

Alright so it was just an error with the picture. Sound good then.

I think it would be better to have more threads that are not as sharp and will cut people up but won't go through bone that easily. Like you said, more like a blade. So yeah, just choose how many blades you want and it will be fine. So....

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