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 Himura (Quincy)

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Himura

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Join date : 2010-01-24

PostSubject: Himura (Quincy)   Sun Jan 24, 2010 7:05 pm

Name: Himura Tenko

Age: 19

Gender: Male

Appearance: Himura is a large man by any standards, he's 6'5, and weighs in at about 198. He has a rather muscular build. He has silken jet black hair, and piercing black eyes

Personality: Himura is rather Anti-social only talking to those he's known for a while, thus his downfall, he doesn't talk to others to begin with. He'll usually nod or grunt in acceptance or negation. He has a terrible sense of humor laughing at the strangest of things. He may seem cold at first, but once you get to know him, he'd help you all he could.

Background/History:-Childhood-
Himura grew up in Italy, his family were of noble descent. He grew up in the life of Luxury. Butlers waiting on him every second. He truly enjoyed it while it lasted, but, a few years after his birth, his family was accused of Subersive Machinations against Italy as a whole, and he had to join the Expat program, to leave the country safely. After he left, most of his family was executed. About five people from his family survived.

-After Italy-
He was moved to Japan, With a different family. The family consisted of two people, an older woman, and her husband, who was also somewhat old. He was extremely spoiled by that time, but the family he had moved with were farmers. so that attitude had to go, almost every day he had to work in the patty. Through his time farming, he became extremely tanned.

-school years-
Everything from primary school back had been uneventful. But when he Went to high school, His power suddenly exploded. He had gotten into a fight witha group of boys at school. One of them had hit him in the mouth, blood started ouring from his mouth, Himura swallowed and was overcome by this strange feeling of dark hate. He let out an inhumane roar, and came after the boys. He choked the one who hit him to death, and the other boys tried to hold him off, but by the end of it. He had killed 10 people under the circumstances. Fearing for his life, he moved to Russia. He finished school in Moscow University, and changed his appearance drastically.

-Back in Japan-
After working In Russia for the underground Black Mafia for about 5 years as a killer for hire, he was sent to Japan to complete a contract for the don. apparently the man wanted to test his mettle. His second family was the mark. He walked in nonchalantly, and pulled a gun, and fired 2 shot killing both his mother and father. And that brings me here.


Spoiler:
 


Last edited by Himura on Fri Jan 29, 2010 7:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Zafaron Uriuc

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Age : 26
Location : California Dude!

PostSubject: Re: Himura (Quincy)   Mon Jan 25, 2010 11:47 am

Seems okay so far. Just so you know, if you wish for the first Quincy spot, as it is available, you are going to have to make a long bio and elaborate on your personality more. Just inform us when you finish the background and history.

If you'd like to be the quincy leader, please post a reply here with your roleplay skills. Make it as long/short, detailed/simple as you'd like.
The result shall decide if the position shall be granted.

Note: You'll have to roleplay more in-depth as leader, so every post you shall have will have to be as detailed and intricate as possible. This is merely for convenience. You must also be active.

If not, then just inform us of what position you want.
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Himura

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PostSubject: Re: Himura (Quincy)   Fri Jan 29, 2010 7:21 pm

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Zafaron Uriuc

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PostSubject: Re: Himura (Quincy)   Fri Jan 29, 2010 11:24 pm

Umm, you have nothing about when you gained your powers and what happened afterwards. Sure you have shown that he can be ruthless, but that is only with regular weapons. When did he gain his quincy powers? Did he have training or did something awaken them? Does he have control over them or do they run wild? Does he know anything about the shinigami and the hollows? Has he joined up with anyone or is he still just working with regular humans?

These are all important questions that your backstory needs to answer. And unfortunately, it doesn't. So at this point it needs a fair bit of editing. Especially if you still wish to be the quincy leader. The example you provided had several spelling and grammar mistakes, more then is reasonable for someone who wishes to be the leader. Just a random post might be okay, but this was supposed to be the example of your skills. It should be looked over several times to make sure there are no errors and that everything sounds good.

And in the end, your character's personality doesn't fit with being the leader either. Your character is very young which means he is probably inexperienced unless he was trained by an elder or something for many years. Since you have nothing about being a quincy, I can't make a true judgement on that. He also is shown to be cold and seems to be anti-social. This is not a person that would be able to pull people together very well.

Changes still need to be made in the backstory area and also in age and personality if you wish for the leader spot. If you are willing to try again for the leader spot I would also like another sample, preferably of your actual character this time. Your current example just is not strong enough on its own.
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