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 Tejinashi !(denied)!

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Vestor

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PostSubject: Tejinashi !(denied)!   Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:11 pm

Name: Tejinashi (conjurer, juggler, magician)

Manifestation:A child,with no human features,wearing a black hooded robe.

Release Phrase:Laugh,Tejinashi

Family:Space

Level:Bankai

Sealed Zanpaktou:His shikai stays in release

Shikai:A pair of white gloves with black seems

Shikai Ability: This zanpaktou is able to open rifts in the dimension and is able to send objects to the other side.With that, the wielder is able to send his arms,head,legs,chest, and full body...through one rift and out another rift's opening. -Cooldown 1 turn post

Also This zanpaktou is able shoot out an Purple, Black orb, this orb fires from Vestors Palm. When Vestor closes his hand into a fist, the orb then implodes into its self causing a short sucksion effect. Then when Vestor opens his fist, the orb explodes. Looks like this in the video(note it says its a static energy ball, that doesn't mean this technique is electricity.)-2 turn post cooldown



Bankai: Takes the form of white gloves.

Force,Tejinashi-Vestor sends himself and Another to another dimension. And in this dimension Vestor's shikai techniques become faster and stronger. Also when Vestor is in the Dimension he moves with higher reflexes and speed.


Last edited by Vestor on Sun Jan 24, 2010 9:25 am; edited 7 times in total
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Kokugen

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PostSubject: Re: Tejinashi !(denied)!   Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:54 pm

Quote :
open rifts in the dimension and is able to send objects to the other
side.With that, the wielder is able to send his arms,head,legs,chest,
and ect... through the rift.

Alright its fair, as long as it's his limbs, and not the removal of other's limbs.

Also please set a cooldown on your abilities. I believe 5 posts for force, and 3 for dance should do it.

APPROVED.

Congrats and welcome.
Post once edited please ^^
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Pendragon
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PostSubject: Re: Tejinashi !(denied)!   Thu Jan 07, 2010 7:25 am

the template clearly states only one family per sword.
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Vestor

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PostSubject: Re: Tejinashi !(denied)!   Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:30 am

Alright I edited the post. Is there anything else I have to do to get it approved?
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Kokugen

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PostSubject: Re: Tejinashi !(denied)!   Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:24 pm

Aye, seems fine.

Approved ^^
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Pendragon
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PostSubject: Re: Tejinashi !(denied)!   Sun Jan 17, 2010 6:06 pm

This is far too overpowered. first of all its a gravity sword which can also make you live through your worst fear... by controlling gravity??? please make your techs coheorent with your sword type.

please spend more time explaining how powerful and large etc your 'implosions' are.

And no manipulation or mental attacks from a gravity zan please!


DENIED until further rework
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Vestor

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PostSubject: Re: Tejinashi !(denied)!   Sat Jan 23, 2010 7:19 pm

Can I get this approved, or tell me what needs to be fixed after my changes...
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Zafaron Uriuc

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PostSubject: Re: Tejinashi !(denied)!   Sat Jan 23, 2010 11:10 pm

Alright, first off we need some cooldowns on both of your abilities of your shikai. They are both technically techniqes, not true abilities and thus need them. A really low cooldown can be given for the first one while the second one can have a low-medium one.

You can get rid of the bankai ability sentence and just change the "bankai:" statement to its appearance.

Also, you need to put a duration and cooldown for Force, Tenjinashi. Both the duration and cooldown should be fairly high.

A nitpicky thing from me more than anything else, but can you change the end of the explanation on your shikai's first ability from "through the rift" to "through one rift to another rift's opening. Just is easier to understand that way.
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Vestor

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PostSubject: Re: Tejinashi !(denied)!   Sun Jan 24, 2010 9:26 am

Okay, I changed the info that needed to be changed. But I would like some help for the Cool Down for the bankai and also what would be a appropriate length for the bankai to stay in play?
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Zafaron Uriuc

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PostSubject: Re: Tejinashi !(denied)!   Sun Jan 24, 2010 1:25 pm

Um... since it is your bankai's only special ability I would go 8 and 10. So you can use it to your full ability but then probably won't be able use it again unless you are in some unusually long fight. Just change that and it will be approved.
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Zafaron Uriuc

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PostSubject: Re: Tejinashi !(denied)!   Mon Mar 29, 2010 12:23 am

Hey Vestor. You weren't really around when all the crazy stuff happened but this site died awhile ago due to the admins disappearing randomly.

However, I managed to work around this problem by making my own site!

http://bleach-awakening.forummotion.com/forum.htm

If you still are interested in RPing, then you should join! We have quite a few active members and the plot is starting to truly progress. So jump on if you want! Hope you get this message.
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